To Lew Simmons Esq.
"Ellen's Babies; or,
I'm Kept on Pins and Needles" (31 July 1877)
Humorous Ballad.
Words and Music by Mark Mason
(pseud. of Septimus Winner, 1827-1902)
from "Vocal Music for the Piano or Organ.
Humorous Songs."

[Source: 10860@LoC;
Philadelphia: Sep. Winner's Son,
Plate No. 7-31-77.]

1.
There are babies, lots of babies, 'mid the low and the refined;
Some are lovely, some are horrid, and are found in ev'ry kind;
But the sweetest and the smartest in what ever land we roam,
Are not half as cute and cunning as the babies found at home;
My Ellen is the mother of some two or three or more
That clamber o'er the furniture and creep around the floor.

REFRAIN
And thus it is forever, Summer, Winter, Spring or Fall,
For I most unfortunately am the father of them all,
And yet I am not happy tho' with them I take delight,
For I'm kept on "Pins and Needles" morning, afternoon and night.

2.
I am fond of Ellen's babies, and am proud of Ellen too,
But I cannot say that I enjoy the task of nursing two,
For its paregoric, milk condens'd, its bottles, spoons and squills,
And a fellow running round at night is apt to take the chills,
I stumble over cradles, rocking-horses, coaches, chairs,
And other little articles left on the floor and stairs.

(REFRAIN)

3.
We are victims of more trials than most couples have to bear,
Yet if wedlock has its blessings we have certainly had our share,
For I love to rock the cradle when the little darlings sleep,--
Ellen singing pretty ditties to console them when they weep,
There's music in the household when the crying once begins,
And Ellen orders me to try and pacify the twins!

(REFRAIN)