"The Coolie Chinee" (1871)
A Humorous Song.
by Septimus Winner, 1827-1902

[Source: 01951@LoC;
Philadelphia: Lee & Walker;
Plate No. 11667-4]

1.
You have heard, I suppose of the man in the moon --
  And the mermaids that live in the sea --
Of Baron Munchausen and John Chinaman,
  Better known as the Coolie Chinee.
He shaves half his head and then raises a queu
  That reaches way down to his khee,
He carries a fan, and there's much he can do,
  This elegant Coolie Chinee.

CHORUS
Hong-Kong, Oo-long;
Hari-Kari, ding-a-dong.
Hong-Kong, Sou-chong;
Hari-Kari, Sound the gong.

2.
We sent off our Biddy, and also our cook,
  Because that their wages were high,
And as a domestic we went for, and took
  A coolie their place to supply.
For dinner he gave us our little pet cat
  And a cup of steaming hot tea;
Our supper he made from a cussed old rat
  This troublsome Coolie Chinee.

(CHORUS)

3.
His skin was the color of coffee and milk,
  And his feet were delightfully small;
His trowsers were made of the finest of silk,
  But some things he had not at all.
He never would sit like the rest of us did,
  But down on the floor squatted he;
I never could tell all the trouble we had
  With this wonderful Coolie Chinee.

(CHORUS)

4.
This cunning old chap, from a nation of flow'rs,
  Would cheat as you couldn't believe;
He'd "go for" the game with the aces and bowers
  He'd manage to hide in his sleeve;
He had the most innocent kind of a look
  That any one ever did see;
But he'd "shut up your eye" by hook or by crook,
  This terrible Coolie Chinee.

(CHORUS)

5.
We bought a silk hat and duster so neat
  To keep off the sun and the dirt,
But the hat for a basket to market he took,
  And the duster he wore for a shirt.
Oh never be foolish, dear people, I pray,
  Oh never be silly like me,
And if you need help, in the future, I pray,
  Engage not a Coolie Chinee.

(CHORUS)