"Our Neutral Friend" (1866)
Words by Luke Collin
Music by Joseph Philbrick Webster, 1819-1875

1.
    Shall we sing a song that's new,
    For the boys that wore the blue,
Of our neutral friend who lives across the water--
    He is pious and humane,
    Note his bloodless Indian reign,
And is shocked when other folks indulge in slaughter.
    People call him Johnny Bull,
    And some think he's always full
Of plum pudding, roasted beef, and 'alf and 'alf, sir,
    But methinks his bovine hide
    Is puffed up with scornful pride,
For he treats his betters oft as merely chaff, sir.

CHORUS
    Oh my neutral Johnny Bull,
    You had better pay in full,
For your merchant ships are toss'd on ev'ry sea, sir;
    And remember this is true,
    That the old red, white and blue
Floats o'er states united, brave and free.

2.
    Johnny said we could not quell
    Sov'reign states that did rebel;
Said the North was fighting only for dominion;
    (But John Bright and Mill and Hughes
    Blest with honest English views,
Knew we battled for the Right, and free opinion.)
    Now that rebels are subdued,
    Johnny hopes we won't be rude;
Trusts that Jeff has no occasion to feel shaky;
    So 'twould seem that treason here
    Is a crime we need not fear,
While with Johnny Bull it's different--in Jamaica!

(CHORUS)

3.
    In the year of 'sixty-one,
    Ere the war had scarce begun,
With unseemly haste the Queen made proclamation--
    Though the rebs, had not a boat
    On the shore, nor yet afloat--
They should have the rights accorded to a nation;
    The should enter neutral ports,
    Under gracious British forts,
Thou they'd neither dock nor flag upon the ocean,
    "Bless my soul!" says neutral John,
    "They've an 'orrid corner stone,
But a swift confed'rate fleet I'll put in motion."

(CHORUS)

4.
    Then the Alabama bold,
    Built by British toil and gold,
Arm'd with British guns and mann'd by British foe, sirs;
    From the Mersey where she lay,
    With Johnny's blessing sailed away,
And our merchant ships were sunk in every sea, sirs.
    True this man-of-war so brave
    Quickly found a watery brave,
When she took the old Kearsarge's gage of battle,
    While the rebel pirates sought
    Refuse on a British yacht,
When the gallant Winslow's shot began to rattle.

(CHORUS)

5.
    Also sailed the Shenandoah,
    When the war was wholly o'er,
Sweeping whalers from the seas with British thunder;
    From her cannons, grim and black
    As the desolated track
Which she made where'er she went, with wreck and plunder.
    Johnny plied a lively trade,
    And a jolly spec, he made,
What with slipping into ports that were blockaded,
    And with taking rebel loans;
    Though the latter he disowns
When he sees the list in public prints paraded.

(CHORUS)

6.
    "Now," says Uncle Sam to John,
    When he'd silenced every gun,
"I'll be paid for ships destroyed by your permission."
    "Let us argue that," says he,
    "There are points 'twixt you and me,
For to settle which we have a high commission."
    "No, we'll let the matter lie;"
    And our uncle winked his eye--
"Guess my boys can do a spell without the pewter--
    And we'll take our pay in full
    From our neutral friend John Bull,
When it comes our turn to play the part of neuter."

(CHORUS)