G. W. Hunter's Popular Song.
"Solomon's Proverbs" (not dated; circa 1858)
By Charles Osborne.
[alias? for John Rogers Thomas, 1830-1896] 
Sung with Great Success 
By G. W. Hunter
Arranged by Edmund Foreman

London: Francis Bros. & Day (Blenheim House), 
  195 Oxford St. W. 
Lithographer: Stannard & Son 
[Source: 048/113@Levy]

1. I’m Sollmon the second, and I’ve very often reckon’d 
That folks are very foolish at the best; 
And although I may regret it, I never can forget it, 
“The truth is very often said in jest;” 
I have studies all the sayings, and the various donkey brayings, 
That were utter’d by the wise in olden times, 
So philosophy I’ll spin it, if you’ll listen half a minute 
To my proverbs in the rummiest of rhymes.

2. If your wife is rather vicious, and awfully suspicious,
And fancies you’re inclined to go astray,
You should argue with a poker, or upon the quiet choke her,
For “where there’s a will there’s a way;”
If your breakfast eggs are bad, and there’s no others to be had,
Don’t let it cause a bother and a broil,
Don’t give black eyes to each other, but present them to her mother,
And “never let a good think spoil!”

3. Bad language never utter, if you get kicked in the gutter,
In a pile of mud about ten inches high,
Don’t grumble for a minute, but remember while you’re in it,
You’ve a “peck of dirt to eat before you die;”
If you attend a mother’s meeting, and receive a friendly greeting,
And you hear the person whisper “let us pray!”
Just find out where they sling ’em, and sneak someone else’s gingham,
For it’s good to “put by for a rainy day!”

4. If you’ve mashed upon a fairy, one who’s maiden name is Mary,
And residing with her mother out of town,
Should you meet her with a fellah, you should smash him on the smeller,
But “never kick a man until he’s down;”
If you’re at the seaside swimming, and you get among the women,
Who pretend to make a terrible to do,
You can charm them like a nigger, with the beauty of your figure
Oh, it’s funny but it’s very, very true!

5. If you’re walking at your leisure, for a little bit of pleasure,
With a lady for a quarter of an hour,
Should you kiss her on the quiet, and she then kicks up a riot,
You can whistle “that the grapes are sour;”
If a bull is on the crossing, and he wants to play at tossing,
As he tries to make a shuttlecock of you,
Tho’ it’s deucedly uncivil, to skeddadle like a devil,
Yet “distance lends enchantment to the view!”

6. If your horse should prove a jibber, and he kicks you in the river,
Without as much as saying “by your leave!”
You should give him “Johnny Morgan,” on his sitting down organ,
For it’s “better far to give than to receive!”
But I fancy you I’ve bothered, quite sufficient with my proverbs,
In the gallery the circle and the pit
So I’ll stopper up my throttle, ’ere you hit me with a bottle,
For, “brevity you know’s the soul of wit!”