"Miss Doremifasolasini's American Opera" (1894) A Musical Play by Frederic Woodman Root, 1846-1916 from "Musical Scenes and Plays for Public Entertainment Designed for Amateur and Professional Performers" --------------- ... PERSONS ... --------------- Miss Doremifasolasini (an acting part; no singing). Rose . . . . Soprano 1 Myrtle . . . . Alto 1 Lily . . . . Soprano 2 Violet . . . . Alto 2 Jasmine . . . Soprano 3 Pansy . . . . Alto 3 Flora . . . . Soprano 4 Daisy (accompanist; acting, but no singing.) Paul E. Titian . . Bass 1 Ward Heeler . . Tenor 1 Mr. Solon . . . . Bass 2 Mr. Henchman . Tenor 2 Other sopranos, altos, tenors and basses may be added if desired; but only in case the stage is large and they can enter as fully into the spirit and action of the piece as those having speaking parts. The music of this piece is partly original and partly taken from Strauss, Offenbach, Sullivan, Adams, and others. --------- Synopsis. --------- Miss Doremifasolasini is the professional name of an American who returns to her native land with some very exalted notions of her own mission as an apostle of American art. Her plan for the regeneration and elevation of the lyric drama in America is, like that of many another, to bring European are boldly to these shores and insist upon the entire abnegation of anything cis-Atlantic. She has, as she supposes, composed and opera during her residence abroad and she now brings it with her, intending to offer it the public as a beacon light of hope for the artistic salvation of her benighted countrymen. With this in view she has called together a company of ambitious students to try her "great work". She is rather vague in her explanations of the work and the singers cannot discover any valuable inspiration in the theme of her opening number which she plays (in her way) upon the piano; so she they take matters into their own hands and sing something which they know---This Miss D. complacently accepts as her own, and, complementing the ladies upon the readiness with which they catch her idea, she is about going on when it occurs to someone that an opera company should have some tenors and basses in it. Whereupon Miss D. says that there are some men out in the ante- room talking politics, that she will call them in and make them sing. As they do not come at her summons, several of the other ladies try various forms of blandishment or coercion; but it is only when one of the number shows in her manner of calling them a profound knowledge of human nature that success crowns their efforts. But the men are so deeply engrossed in politics that it is with great difficulty that Miss D. gets their attention to her opera and even then they make some radical changes in it in conformity with their political bent. However the unsuspecting Miss D. accepts as her own everything that is sung and is in high feather over the way things are going. Before every number that is sung, she plays (after a fashion) what she intends as the theme of the number. At last one of the ladies thinks she discovers a strong resemblance between all of these themes; and, moreover, that there is a resemblance between them and something in her own memory. After meditating at the piano awhile she finds that Miss Doremifasolasini's American Opera is more American than it was intended to be and that the old tune "The Old Oaken Bucket" in one distortion or another is the only idea in it. She calls the attention of the company to her discovery and they sing a strain of the tune. Miss D. at once claims it is her own composition saying that she intends it as the finale of the last act and that it is to be a drinking song. She recites to the company the very remarkable words which she has composed for this number and the ladies, no longer able to preserve a respectable gravity of demeanor, greet the recital with derisive laughter. They relieve their pent up indignation saying that some other place shall have the honor of bringing out her opera. A happy thought occurs to Paul E. Titian and the performance closes with a drinking song indeed, but very different in its sentiment from that intended by Miss Doremifasolasini. ------------------- Special Directions. ------------------- There must be an ante-room opening upon the stage where this piece is given. Nothing is required as stage setting but some chairs, a small table that can easily be moved, and a piano; whatever is convenient may be done to make the stage look attractive. In the ante-room that must be a deal table and some common chairs, or some arrangement by means of which a rattling, scrambling noise can be made at the proper moment. The arrangement of the stage may somewhat according to the accompanying diagram. ------------------------------------ T S H H Entrance : JLRFMPY D[piano] Miss D \ [front] / \-------------------------------/ If the entrance ia at the other side of the stage, the positions will be reversed. If the entrance is in the center, the position of the men will be changed, toward on side of the other. Let there be room to pass in front of the piano. Miss Doremifasolasini's chair and table should not be in place at first. The table may be first placed at the extreme front corner of the near Miss D.'s position, if convenient, and her chair at the opposite front corner. The costume for the singers is, ordinary evening dress for the ladies, and business suits for the men. (Dress suits may be worn but they are not so appropriate.) It is desirable that Daisy should memorise all accompaniments excepting those used during Miss D's examination of the voices. Miss Doremifasolasini should be somewhat over-dressed and she may, if convenient, carry lorgnettes or eye-glasses with the long handle with which to occasionally to scutinize her manuscript or the singers. She will be provided, with a disorderly looking bunch of manuscript. Those who have to say the name should practice to say it glibly, giving the strong accent to _si_. Do-ra-mi---fah-so- lah---_see_-nee. The french words in Miss Doremifasolasini's part may be pronounced correctly or imperfectly. Some suggestions are: Emphasis slightly the French words of more than one syllable, on the last syllable; for instance, _Pardon_, _Voyons_, _Paris_, _Allons Assistance_, _Arrive_, _Citoyens_. In thes words the syllable having an _an_, _en_ and _on_ should have a nasal sound suggested by ong. In _tiens_ is a nasal but the vowel is as in _slang_. The pronouciation of the Italian words such as Giusto, Cielo, Nazionale, Forse and Pochettino, can be found in any pronouncing dictionary of musical terms. These are strongly accented as marked. The singing of the opening number may be entirely on the stage or may be begun in the ante-room, the singers entering at A. The singers, will not at once take their seats but will walk to and fro across the stage in couples or cluster about the piano. At the close of this number Lily takes her seat, Jasmine and Myrtle stand behind their respective chairs, Violet stand at the end of the piano, Daisy remains seated at the piano and the others stand behing the piano leaning upon it. Certain passages, expressed in small notes may be omitted; or any bright easy duet may be substituted for the introduction. ------------------- General Directions. ------------------- The performers should strive to maintain the interest of their parts throughout; and each should appear as interested while others are speaking as while taking part herself. Those who far the moment are not taking part should not seem to forget the assumed character but should help by face and manner the effect of what another is saying. An effort should be made to speak loudly and distinctly in the speaking parts. Amateurs must seem to themselves to exaggerate in this particular. The face should be kept toward the audience as much as possible even when the one spoken to is is behind or beside the speaker. Each performer should learn her part by herself, and should take care to learn the cues as well as the speaches and the music which she must utter,---i. e. learn what precedes as well as the thing itself. As a rule let speech and song follow each other glibly---without awkward waits. Of course if the performers' efforts are rewarded with laughter or applause it is well to wait a little so that the speech may not be lost. Amateurs can never safely trust to the inspiration of public performance for such action as they assume in the expression of their roles; all that must be carefully rehearsed from six to ten times more to give it effect. =============== No. 1. =============== [overlapped voices] [Violet] Ah ... [Rose] a ... [Flora; Pansy] o ... [Myrtle] e ... [Jasmine; Lily; Violet] ah ... [Rose] a ... [A.] [All the sopranos] Sol fa ... ti mi re [overlapped voices] [Sopranos] re do ti do sol do ti la ... re mi fa la la la la la la la la ... la la la la la la la la la la la ... la la la la la la la la [Altos] Sol mi ... ti do la la sol te re fa ti do sol ... la la la la la la la la la la la ... la la la la la la la la la la la ... la la la la [Rose] ah ... [Myrtle] ah ... [Lily, Jasmine, Flora] ah ... [Violet and Pansy] ah ... [Sopranos] So fa ... ti mi re [overlapped voices] [Sopranos] re do ti do sol la ti la ... la la la la la ... [Altos] Sol mi ... ti re do ti la la la la la la la la [Sopranos & Altos] a e i o u a e i o u ip it ik it ip ik it ip it ik it ip ik it la be da me ni po tu la [B.] [Violet] ah ... [Flora & Pansy; Myrtle] e ... [Rose, Lily, Flora, Pansy; Jasmine] o ... [Rose & Lily] Ah ... [Flora, Violet, Myrtle, Pansy] Ah ... [Jasmine] Ah ... [Rose] la ... [Sopranos] la ah ... [Jasmine] la ah ... [Altos] ah ... ------ SPOKEN ------ Myrtle. My voice is perfectly horrible to-night. (_The following five sentences marked * are to be spoken with animation and emphasis, but all at once, making a confused chatter. Only some of the final words in the longer sentences will be distinquishable. All address some one._) *Lily. So is mine; it is as stiff as a board. *Jasmine. I've got every throat affection I ever heard of, and some which I think must be original with me! *Violet. It is odd how I manage to catch a new cold every blessed day of my life! *Flora. My upper notes are entirely gone. Aren't you sorry for me? *Rose. I suppose it must be the weather. Hasn't it been perfectly atrocious? Pansy. Such a pity, when we should be in the very best trim possible. Jasmine. It isn't very often we are all called together to try over a new opera, is it? Flora. (_Complacently._) It's nothing when you're used to it. Lily. That's so; it isn't any novelty to you of course. Pansy. Say, Miss Flora! is it really that the crowd at Wayback took the horses from your carriage and drew you to your hotel? Lily. And actually covered you with flowers? Flora. So the papers stated. All. Oh---o---o! Pansy. Then of course you'll be engaged to sing in this opera. Jasmine. Why, we are all engaged for it are we not? Flora. For goodness sake! what are you thinking of? Jasmine. Well, why not? It's an American opera, isn't it? Flora. I believe it is. Daisy. O yes that is the strong point of work. It is to encourage American Art. Jasmine. Well, then; why shouldn't we be engaged to do it? I should like to create a role once! Pansy. O, wouldn't I though!---if I could wear just what I liked. Rose. And I don't see the necessity of having singers with unpronouceable names to do American opera. Violet. It's written by and American too, isn't it? Myrtle. Yes; is she that is coming to show it to us. Lily. An American with such a name as that!---Miss What-you- may-call-ini;---I can't get it. Myrtle. Yes, she is an American from somewhere out West. Her real name is Jenks, Johnson, Jorkins or something like that; but she went abroad, and after staying there awhile concluded that her own name was not artistic enough; so now she is Miss Doremifasolasini. Flora. I had a conversation with her the other day, and I declare! It was so full of foreign words I could hardly understand her. (_The next two sentences, marked * may be used or not according to circumstances._) *Rose. Why do you suppose she wanted us to come in evening dress to-night? *Daisy. I suppose she thought you could sing better if you looked your best. Most girls can, you know. Rose. But isn't it lovely to see the interest she takes in American Art? Pansy. Perfectly lovely! Violet. Such devotion! Lily. Such patriotism! Jasmine. Such lofty ideals! Daisy. Now girls, to tell the truth, I have never seen this Miss Folderolini or whatever she calls herself, but I believe she is a humbug. And, mark my word! you won't get any engagement from her unless it may be in the chorus. (_The next sentences marked * are spoken all at once and softly._) *Rose. The idea! *Jasmine. That's what she's up to! *Violet. She will find out! *Pansy. We are sold. *Flora. How would I look? Myrtle. (_Speaking at once, without waiting for the murmur to subside._) Well why not, I should like to know? Daisy. Well just wait till this Miss Foreignlandini arrives, and you will find out! Jasmine. I suppose in order to please her we should have to put on all the foreign airs possible. Pansy. I've a lovely new Paris hat I could wear. Myrtle. My dear, your hat would never atone for your speaking English without a foreign accent. Now, I think the best to do would be to give her a little unconventional Italian. For example, go right up to her and in a confidential manner remark: non posse comitatus mararoni nice banana books-to-the-opera vendetta mulligataway tenement house in a back allini povero dago Italiano! (_This sentence is to be begun at the ordinary rate, and spoken with increasing speed to the close. The last word should be pronounced e-tal-yah-no, with stess on yah. Gestures may be made during the sentence._) Violet. No; I shall reply upon merit alone for chances of pleasing her. --------- =============== No. 2. =============== [Spoken with music.] [Violet] I shall rely on merit alone for my chances of pleasing her! [Sung] ah [Myrtle] ah [Pansy] ah [Flora] ah [Jasmine] ah [Lily] ah [Rose] ah... [Sopranos] sol fa [Repeat "A" from No. 1] ---- (_They sing form A to B on pages 6 7 & 8; whereupon Daisy suddenly observing, stops playing and speaks; or if preferred the following dialogue may come at once without the above described strain of music.) Daisy. Stop, stop, girls! here she comes. Get your places and be on you most operatic behaviour. (_Let each one make some short ejaculation or remark as she runs to her seat as "Well, well! that was just in time"! "O dear me she nearly caught us." "Oh! that was a narrow escape"! "Oh! where is my place"?---all spoken together with the effect of a moment of great confusion. The ladies first sit, and then rise as Miss D. enters._) Miss Doremifasolasini. (_Speaking as she enters.) Ah! bon soir, bon soir Mesdamoiselles! Excuse me! pardon, *pardon! [*French pronunciation, the accent on the second syllable.] I forget myself. I meant to say in the language of this country, Ladies, good evening! [_Stands near the corner of the stage.] ---- [All] Ma'am good evening. [Miss. D (_Spoken._)] I hope you'r all quite well. [All (sung)] Quite well; and you Ma'am? [Miss D. (_Spoken._)] Je me porte---er, that is I am in tolerable health, and happy to see you upon on this occasion. =============== No. 3. =============== [Sung] [All] You do us proud, Ma'am. [Miss D. (_Spoken.)] Fresh young voices, tho' uncouth in style, bien entendu, with the nasal twang that all Americans have till they have abroad. Mais, n'importe! (_Aside._) I will make a convenience of them. (_To the ladies._) I suppose you know of my efforts in behalf of this unhappy country. [Sung] [All. (_With zest._)] Hail Columbia, happy land, [Miss D. (_Spoken._)] Happy land! When you have no grand opera! Guisto Ceilo! [All (sung)] O say can you see, [Miss D. (_Spoken._)] See what? Ma foi? Where is you Conservatorio Nazionale? Where is your Ecole des Beaux Arts? [All (sung)] My country, 'tis of thee! [Miss D. (_Spoken_)] A crude, and semi-barbarous land, from which one must excape to Europe once in a while to refresh one's soul. [All (sung)] Sweet land of liberty! [Miss D. (spoken)] Bah! liberty! What of that? You have no court, no nobility, no royal patronage of the fine arts. [All (sung)] Of thee I sing! ---- Miss D. That's worse than all! Don't mention singing in America. O, bel canto! bel canto! (_With special fervor._) Italy is thy home! Lily. How do you like the tune we just sang Miss Jenks? Miss D. Doremifasolasini, if you please.---And play what was the tune you just sang? Lily. The American National Hymn. Miss D. O, it is good enough for a raw country, doubtless, but---vulgar, very vulgar. Lily. But it is the same music as the English National Hymn. Miss D. Oh! It is? Perhaps I was inattentive. (_Thinks an instant._) Now that I recall it, I see that there is much refinement in the melody; (_Humming lightly to herself._) Really noble in its inspiration. Jasmine. (_To the audience._) Its English ye know! Flora. (_To the audience._) The de-ah Pwince sings it. Myrtle. (_To the audience._) 'Er Majesty 'ums hit. Miss D. But let is get to work. I have much to do to perfect arrangements for producing my grand American Opera. Rose. But Miss---Miss--- Miss D. Doremifasolasini. Rose. Miss Doremifasolasini, befor we go any further please tell us what you expect of us. Miss D. I wish to show the work to a manager and some representatives of the press. You are going to sing it for them. Rose. And after that---? Miss D. After that I shall go abroad and engage artists to perform it for the public. All. And we---? Miss D. O, you may sing in the chorus if you will work hard; or perhaps I could let some of you be the understudies for minor parts, (_Suddenly remembering_) Voyons, voyons! What have I done with my manuscript? (_With anxiety._) Quel dommage! I must have left it outside. (_Dramatically._) American art is threatened! I fly to seek my great work! (_Exit. The ladies who have thus far remained standing, sit down and regard each other for a moment with mingled disgust and astonishment. At last Pansy speaks slowly and emphatically._) Pansy. Well! what do you think of all that? Violet. I never in my life saw such affectation! Myrtle. (_Indignantly._) Sing in the chorus indeed! (_Rising suddenly._) I'm going home. Jasmine. Understudy for a minor part! (_Rising._) I'll go too! Flora. (_Pulling Myrtle back to her seat._) No don't go. I'll tell you a better plan---stay right here and make game of her. We'll get some fun out of the affair, if nothing else. Jasmine. (_Seating herself._) Very well. (_All the ladies assent, making remarks to each other, as:_ "I aggree to that", "It is a good idea, isn't it"? "Quite and inspiration" etc.) Flora. Now all be as meek as Moses, and as obstinate as a mule. Miss D. (_Entering with manuscript._) Dio grazia! It is safe! (_Panting from haste and fright._) Je respire de noveau! There it was among a lot of men who little knew the value of it. All. (_Seated; speaking mechanically together._) How fortunate! This is too good to be true. Miss D. (_Having looked to see that none of the MSS are missing._) Now I must have something to put my papers upon. Have you here a---a---a, I forgot how you call it in English---una tavola---O yes!---a table? (_Lily and Violet rise and go toward the table._) Lily. Certainly, there is one. May we have the privilege of placing it for you? Violet. O, yes; do let us. (_To the audience._) I shall feel as if I'm encouraging American art! Miss D. Ah, merci, merci! Vous e[^]tes trop bonnes! Right here, please. Flora. (_Who has brought a chair to the middle of the table in front._) This is called a chair, in English; would you like it? Miss D. Mais, oui sans doute! I cannot sit upon the floor! Flora. (_Placing chair for Miss D._) It is an American chair, but perhaps you will excuse it. Miss D. Impertinence! (_French pronouciation._) I must try your voices and see what you can do. I suppose you do not know the first thing about opera. Pansy. Miss Flora does, anyhow. Miss D. Miss Flora, will you favor me with an exhibition of your powers? Flora. (_Goes to piano. Daisy rises and stands behind it._) Certainly. (_Touches middle C._) Then a scale up to (Touches C two octaves higher._) a half dozen trills, a chromatic flight, some staccatos etc, etc. Miss D. Well; can you do all those things? Flora. No, not this evening. But I'll tell you what I can do. I can have a description of all my dresses in the Sunday papers, and circulate a report about loosing my diamonds, and be interviewed, and be burnt out of my hotel and all that sort of thing. Miss D. You have dramatic genious. I accept you. (_Flora takes her seat exchanging significant looks with the other ladies. Miss D. consults list of names._) Let me hear an aria drammatica, con molto guisto ma non troppo. Myrtle. That means a song, doesn't it? Miss D. Ah, forse,---peut-e[^]tre---yes, yes, yes, anything. Myrtle. Will a Scotch song do? Miss D. (_Dubiously._) Well---er---I don't know--- Myrtle. Scotland is a foreign country you know. Miss D. Ah, vraiment! So it is! I will consent to listen to a Scotch song. (_The song may be sung here._) The following sentences being omitted, or Miss D. may procees thus:) By the way you all sing the Italian method of course. Myrtle. (_Still standing by her chair._) Of course. Lily. Well I do, anyway. But my teacher who is a Frenchman is the only one who teaches the pure Italian method. The tone is made (_Pointing._) in the forehead. Myrtle. (_Sitting, and talking excitedly._) No: my teacher is the only one who knows anything about the Italian method. He is and Englishman and says the tone should come from the waiste. (_Indicating._) Violet. (_Exceedingly._) No, this isn't the way at all! My teacher is giving me Patti's method, and she told my mother that she wouldn't give it to any one else. The tone must start up here, (_Pointing between the eyes._) then come down on the roof of the mouth, then fall over the lower lip (_Pointing_) on the the chin, and then (_Thinking_) I forget where it goes, but (_Confidently._) it's the real Italian method, is it? Pansy. Well, my teacher has been an opera singer, and I guess she knows. She teaches you to produce the tone in the back of your neck, (_Indicating._) Daisy. But that isn't Italian method is it? Pansy. (_Decidedly._) She says it is the only genuine Italian method and no one else teaches it! (_The following sentences marked * are to be spoken excitedly and loudly all at once. Do not try to have the sentences end together._) *Lily. O the horrid thing! She would like to make one believe that she made the earth. Here's where the voice is produced. (_. Points at forehead, and hold that position several seconds._) *Jasmine. Well, I like that! She comes to think that wisdom will die with her. Here's where the tone really comes from. (_Puts hand on chest and holds that postition_). *Rose. She doesn't know anything at all about it. She has ruined more voices than a few. The tone won't carry unless it comes out so (_Shows teeth is an exaggerated way and holds position_.) *Violet. I presume she has a monopoly of knowledge on the subject of voices. The idea! Now tone should come out of your mouth in this way. (_Projects the lips and puckers them. Holds position._) *Myrtle. That is all arrant nonsense. I'll tell you exactly how it is. The tone begins there (_Pointing at waist._) and then goes there (_Pointing at chest._) and there (_At throat._) and there (_At roof of mouth._) and there (_At forehead.) and there. (_At top of head._) (_The ladies hold these various positions a few seconds making a tableau; Daisy laughs._) Miss D. (_Speakin partly during the hubub and partly after._) Young ladies! young ladies! young ladies! Never mind that now. So long as it is Italian method it is unecessary to think of details. Go on with your song Myrtle. (_The by play may go on. As Myrtle rises and goes forward to sing she may turn and say "I'm right about the Italian method, anyway," and the others may by gestures or murmured negatives dispute her statement very positively and then fall to whishpering among them selves until she begins to sing._) ---- ================== No. 4. Anononymous ================== [Myrtle] 1. I'm glad mi heart's my ain And I'll keep it sae a' mi life Until some laddie comes by That has sense to choose a guid wife. 2. I'm no sae vera bonnie But I think I'm just as braw As Jeanie wi' a' her siller Who has ta'en mi laddie awa'. 3. So I'm glad mi heart's mi ain And I'll keeps it sae a' mi life Until some laddie comes by That has sense to choose a guid wife. 4. It's no that I say it mysel' But a' the neebors can tell There's nae a gown that I hae But I shape and sew it misel'. 5. But now that they're buckled together O may they be happy for life But a man that will marry for siller Will neer be guid to his wife! 6. So I'm glad mi heart's mi ain And I'll keep it sae a' mi life Until some laddie comes by That has sense to choose a guid wife. ---- Miss D. (_Who has listened languidly._) There, take your seat. Your tempo di pochettino is not so bad but I don't like the sempre drawlando non stoppo. However, we'll wave that point--- (_Consulting list._) Now Miss Jasmine--- Jasmine. I don't think Myrtle's song was very "dramatica" (_With a gesture._)---or whatever you call it. Now I know something more to the point;---a song that deals with (_Oratorically._) sadness, woe, heart-longings, soul-yearnings, spirit-strugglings, mind-chaffings and---and---(_Seeking in vain for a lofty climax; then dryly,_) hard luck! Miss D. That sounds as if it might be about the thing. Go on. I will judge. (_Jasmine sings the following, or some other setting of the same words._) ---- =============== No. 5. Words by Robert Louis Stevenson. Music by Frederic Woodman Root =============== 1. In winter I get up at night, And dress by yellow candlelight; In Summer quite the other way, I have to go to bed by day; 2. I have to go to bed and see The birds still hopping on the tree, And hear the grown up people's feet Still going by me on the street. Now does it not seem hard to you, When all the sky is clear and blue, And I should like so much, so much to play, I have to go to bed to day? ---- Miss D. I fear you are flippant and shallow. That does not sound as if you were consecrated, as all of you should be, to the service of art. O, young ladies! try to reach a level which I am proud to have attained, where one knows nothing but the purest art! Learn lounger pieces,---pieces about daggers, poison, elopements and treachery,---something artistic---with scales and trills. Tiens, tiens! (_Contemptuously._) They don't sing about children at the Scala or the Grand Opera! I hope you have something better Miss---(_Looking at list._) Miss Pansy. Miss Pansy. It is my wont to pluck wayside buds of melody as I journey; and one of these I have worn here this evening in my heart. Shall I now allow its perfume to expand upon the sentient air, until all around, enthralled, enwrapped, er---er---(_Some of the ladies laugh, some applaud softly with their hands, and Jasmine interrupts her:_) Jasmine. O come now, Pansy! Miss D. Don't interrupt her. That was a very poetic remark. Abroad, I always talk way, myself. Pansy. I find it somewhat exhausting; so with your permission I will sing. Miss D. (_Arily._) Proceedez-vous. (_The following song may be sung with a little action. Some other short song may be substituted if preferred._) ---- =============== No. 6. Words from the Burlington Hawkeye. Arr. from a German popular melody by F.W.R. =============== [Pansy] 1. While they sat before the fire, Nothing more did he desire, Than to get a little nigher, If he could; And his heart beat high and higher, And her look grew shy and shyer, When he sided up close by her, As he should. 2. Then he ventured to inquire If her sister Jane Mariar And her mother and her sire, Were quite well? And from time to time he'd eye her, As tho' he would like to buy her, And his bashfullness was dire, For a spell. 3. Then his husky throat grew dryer, When he told her that the 'Squire To himself would gladly tie her, If she would; Might he now go ask her sire? And he thought he would expire, When she said, to his desire, That he could! ---- Miss D. (_With mild despair._) I have no doubt that you mean well young ladies. But, gran' Dio! there is nothing in such songs. Have you never heard of Lohengrino (_Accent on_ gri.) and Marth di Lammermore? Do you know nothing of the great writers Verdizetti and Rossinante? Are you in ingorance of such master pieces as "The Grand Duchess" by Bach? Rose. (_Rising._) I know a fine spirited song that I think would please you. Miss D. Is it pure art? Tell me that. Don't triffle with me. Rose. Well I hardly know. There's no villainy about it. It is patriotic---all about our country,---its people, its destiny. Miss D. Has it any scales in it? Rose. No, not one. Miss D. Is it by a German or Italian composer? Rose. It is by an American, born and bred. Miss D. Who lives abroad, of course? Rose. Who has never been abroad. Miss D. (_Pathetically._) Young ladies, this is too much! Here I am working night and day for art in this country. I call upon you for assistance, and you bring me (_Scornfully._) a song about America, written by and American who has never been abroad,---and the song has no scales in it! Misericordia mia! What can be done for such a country! (_Sinks back despairingly in her chair._) Rose. (_Cheerfully._) O, you want an excercise. I see. Well I think I can accomodate you. (_Arranges the accompaniment upon the piano for Daisy then comes forward and sings the following or any short selection from the florid vocalises of Panofka, Bordogni, Panseron, or some such writer._) ---- =============== No. 7. by F. W. R. =============== [Rose] Ah ... ---- Miss D. That is much better. Perhaps you have some glimmering odeas of true art after all. I think you can help me. But we must hurry along. Let us see, (_Consulting list._) there are two more; (_Reading._) Miss Violet and Miss Lily. Violet. (_Seated._) I don't know anything to sing. Lily. (_Rising._) Come on; we'll sing something together. Violet. But I don't know anything to sing. Lily. Never mind; I'll start something and you can do it after me. (_Goes to piano and arranges accompaniment for Daisy._) Miss D. Well, well! What are we waiting for? Lily. Violet did not expect to sing but has consented to try something with me. Violet. (_Rising and coming forward._) I can't keep time very well. You must excuse me if I drag behind. ---- ======================================= No. 8. (arr. from) Music by Theodore Marzials. ======================================= [Lily and Violet] Go, pretty rose, Go to my fair, Go tell her all, I fain would dare, Tell her of hope, Tell her of spring, Tell her of all I dain would sing, Oh! were, Oh! were I like thee, so far a thing. Go, pretty rose, Go, pretty rose, Go, Go tell my love, Go tell my love. ---- Miss D. (_Severely._) You weren't together once! It is scandalous the way young singers are taught in this country. However, I shall have to put up with such assistance as you can render. Now I will show you the music of my great American opera. All. Yes, do! ---- ============================= No. 9. (arr. from) Music by Strauss. ============================= Now to the ball, la, la, la, la, In glittering hall, la, la, la, la, Where soft measures fall, la, la, la, la, 'Mid melody's thrall, la, la, la, la, 'Tis Terpichore's call, la, la, la, la, Whose pleasures ne'er pall, la, la, la, la, So come one and all To the ball, To the ball come one and all. [Chorus A] 'Tis a sweet delight, Waltzing thro' the night; Happy hours, 'Mong the flowers, Ah, what life can spare, Such emotion rare, Where are gallant men and ladies fair, [Repeat Chorus A] [Chorus B] Then on and on in measure Let each one yield to pleasure, Yes, on and never stay, For the dawn anounces the day. [Repeat Chorus B] ---- Miss D. (_Encouragingly._) You catch my idea rather well, really. Jasmine. O, the idea of a ball is easily caught. Lily. That reminds me, we haven't got any basses--- Flora. Or tenors. Pansy. Yes, and its awfully stupid without--- (_Consciously._) basses and tenors. Violet. Especially at a ball. Miss D. Why, of course. There are some men out there talking politics. I'll call them in and make them sing. (_Peremptorily._) Messieurs, Signori, approach, enter, join us; we wish your assistance. Flora. Yes, come along! American art has need of you. Lily. (_After a pause._) Are you somewhat not too imperative in your tone? Let us ask them politely. (_Goes near the door and speaks very sweetly; the rest of the ladies move to the side of the stage opposite the door._) Gentlemen, would you do us a great favor to lend your assistance for a few moments. (_Expectant pause, then stamping her foot._) The brutes! Rose. (_Complacently._) I think---(_With assumed candor_), of course I'm not sure, but I think that I can bring them. (_Goes near the door and walks about pretending to search._) Where have I dropped my handkerchief, (_Pause._) and my bracelet, (_Pause._) and my pocket-book, (_Pauses; vehemently._) and---and--- everything! (_After a pause; returning._) Well I never knew that sort of thing to fail before. Violet. Let me try. (_Goes before the door, then suddenly puts her hand to her head, totters and sinks into a chair saying brokenly._) O if somebody would only get me a glass of water! (_Ladies all rush to her. She rises and returns._) There, you've spoiled it all. I give up. Myrtle. (_Fiercely._) I'll just give those men a piece of my mind. (_Goes to the door, and speaks very volubly._) I never in my life or in your life or in any one's life even among low-lived persons who lie low all their low life long and lie about their low life in a lifely and light manner libelling the lives of likely people,---I say I never in my life saw the wight who, try as he might, could reach a plight so impolight as to to-night present to sight! (_Slight pause._) A shameful slight! (_Going to her place._) It isn't right! Lily. (_Goes to the door to see if any one is coming; then turns to ladies and, with disgust---_) Well, did you ever! Jasmine. (_Emphatically._) No, I never! Violet. Well, I should say so! Pansy. That's just what I think. Daisy. Say, girls; do you really want those men? All. Why of course we do. Rose. What have we been doing for the past five minutes but trying to get them? Daisy. (_Goes near the door, and speaks quietly but very distinctly._) Supper's ready! (_A sound of scrambling and confusion immediately ensues and the men appear in the doorway._) Paul E. Titian. (_Standing with the others in the doorway._) Did any one call? Myrtle. (_Aside to audience._) Disgusting! Pansy. They are perfectly horrid! Flora. (_To the men._) Yes, we did call. Jasmine. (_Sarcastically._) Just once. Miss D. We are rehearsing my new American opera for the encouragement of American art in America, and nous avons besoin de votre assistance. Titian. (_Puzzled._) Might I encore that last remark? Miss D. I should say, we need your assistance. Titian. O, in that case--- Miss D. So, sit right there and await directions. (_Titian and Solon seat themselves; Henchman and Heeler advance slowly talking earnestly:_) Ward Wheeler. Well, I don't care what you say! Mulhooley will get there, just the same. Henchman. I've got twenty five cents that says he wont! Heeler. It's a go. (_Seats himself._) Miss D. (_Entreatingly._) Messieurs! Henchman. (_Not hearing her._) The boys are all with McGuinness. (_Seats himself._) Miss D. Gentlemen! pray, can you not leave politics far art for a few moments? Ma foi! what a country! Solon. (_Rising._) Certainly, Madam. (_To the men._) Do stop talking and attend to what the lady wants of you. You might as well save your breath anyway; for you know perfectly well that the citizen's ticket has smashed both your slates into smithereens. (_Seats himself._) Henchman. (_Rising._) Well if you think so, let's see the color of your cash! (_Sitting._) Heeler. Yes; put up or shut up! (_Heeler, Henchman and Solon talk excitedly with some gesticulation for a moment among themselves._) Titian. (_Rising._) Ladies, excuse them, they are a little excited. Pray ma'am, what can we do for you? Miss D. I want a Pretender--a Prince, you know, for my opera. Titian. (_Humorously._) Well, here's Mr. Ward Heeler who can pretend to almost anything at the shortest notice. Heeler. (_Looking up from his conversation._) What are you saying about me? Miss D. Mr Heeler would you mind humming through this part, written for the Prince, the Pretender from whom these noble ladies are supposed to be scheming? Heeler. All right. (_Rises and comes slowly abstractedly forward.) Miss D. There, take the music. I don't know whether you can read it or not. I didn't know how---(_Hurriedly correcting._ that is, I hadn't time to write it our very plainly. (_Going to the piano._) It goes this way. (_Plays awkwardly._) Heeler. (_Who has stood at the front of the stage, with music in hand but evidently thinking of something else, suddenly:_) Say! I'll make it fifty cents on Mulhooley. Henchman. (_Jumping up._) You'll loose it--- Miss D. Grand Dieu! This is sacrilege! Consider my feelings if you are a gentleman. Heeler. I beg your pardon. But there is no doubt that the man is a lunatic. Now, yesterday, at the primary in the 18th ward--- Miss D. Mais, voyons, voyons; leave that for a while I beg you. See, there are the words. Heeler. (_Studying them closely._) I can't make them out. Miss D. Well, they're mostly in French, to be sure; but you'll see how the ought to go as you proceed. Heeler. (_Still studying.) What's that first word? (_Spelling.) s, w---u, (_Pronouncing_) Sup, (_Soop.)--- Henchman. (_Derisively._) Why, yes; Soup, of course. You'll know more about that after the election! Miss D. Don't mind him. The word is supreme. Here let me have the manuscript. (_Takes it to her table to make some corrections_) Jasmine. (_To Heeler._) Sing anything you happen to think of; she wont know the difference. Heeler. Thank you. A good idea. (_Whispers to accompanist who nods assent. Then to Miss D:_) Now I think I can give you a rendition of that ro[^]e if you will hand me the manuscript. Miss D. (_Handing it._) Now, with much con spirito, please. Heeler. Certainly. (_Gents all come forward._) ---- =============================== No. 10. {arr. from) Music by Offenbach. =============================== [Heeler] Election day! the glory of our nation! Then ev'ry man whatever his station, Excites his brain with public affairs, And to his party, devotion he swears, He goes to vote, industriously smoking, And at the polls he spends a day in joking and in smoking, gaily joking, smoking, all the live-long day. [Heeler] So you may say [One of the ladies and Heeler] That is the way, Ev'ry man should do on 'lection day! [All the ladies] la la la la la la [All] So you may say, That is the way, Ev'ry man should do on 'lection day. ---- Miss D. (_Condescendingly._) Yes, that is about my idea for a song in that place; yet it isn't just the thing for the Prince. That would do better for one of the retainers, the court jester for example. Now you shall be the fool--- Heeler. (_Bowing low._) Too much honor! (_Goes to his seat._) Miss D. But I must have a prince. Is there not someone else who would like to be the Prince? Titian. Well, I don't know;---here's my friend Henchman who is usually ready to run for any office that's in sight. Miss D. Tre[`]s bien. Mr. Henchman, would you try this aria over for me? Henchman. (_Coming in front of stage._) Let me look at it a moment. Miss D. Here it is. It goes this way. (_Plays awkwardly._) Henchman. Now an idea strikes me! By changing the words and music and (_Reassuringly._) leaving every thing else the way it is, this would make a good campaign song. Heeler. Non-partizan, mind you! Henchman. O, certainly. (_Whispers a word to Daisy._) Now if this young lady would strike a few inspired chords on the piano and the rest join in, (_To audience._) I think we could elect McGinness with this song. (_All come forward.) ---- =================================== No. 11. (arr. from) Music by Stephen Adams. =================================== [Henchman] O he's the man for us, you know, [with CHORUS (all)] You know, you know That's so, that's so; [Henchman] The other side will have no show, [with CHORUS (all)] No show, no show, no show! [CHORUS\ will have no show! [Henchman] 'Tis certain that An office fat Would crown his joys; Thro' thick and thin We'll vote him in, 'Mid smoke and noise, And when he's there He will take care Of all the boy Your know, you know, you know, [CHORUS] That's so, that's so, [All] The opposition is no go, you know, no go, no go, you know, no go, no go, you know, Their man is very much too slow, you know. He's very much too slow, that's so. ---- (_All take their seats, the gentlemen bringing their chairs forward near to the ladies._) Miss D. (_Much pleased._) Yes it will do nicely for the finale of the second act. The main idea of the opera is political, after all. Allons! we are progressing famously. But now I must show you the gem of the entire work, the grand aria of the third act. It opens with a recitative like this: Daisy. Excuse me, Miss Doremifasolasini; but is that little bit you play original? Miss D. (_Going to her place._) Mais oii, ma che[`]re; oui, certainment. Daisy. (_Going to the piano and reflecting._) Have I never heard it before, or something like it? Miss D. (_Occupied with here MSS._) Non, ma che[`]re. Myrtle. I say, what does that mean---"mash-air"? Miss D. It means, my dear, my dear girl; it is feminine. Myttle. O, "mashair" is something feminine then. Miss D. Oui, certainment. Myrtle. That's odd! Well it may be so. I never thought a masher could be much of a man, anyway. (_All laugh---By-play._) Miss D. (_Contemptuously._) You don't understand! Daisy. (_At piano._) There! I've found out what that reminds me of. See here girls, did you ever hear "How dear to my heart are the scenes of my childhood"? (_Plays; all the ladies cluster about the piano._) ---- =============== No. 12. =============== [All] When fond recollections presents them to view! The orchard, the meadow, the deep tangled wildwood, and all the love scenes which my infancy knew. ---- Miss D. That is to be the grand finale to the opera. I composed it during a visit to Italy. But, bien entendu, it will have no such namby-pamby words as that. It is to be a drinking song. (_Recites in a highly oratorical manner:_) Come fill your glasses right away, Le jour de gloire est arrive! Fill up with absinthe, green and strong; Allons, aux armes, vous, citoyens! (_All laugh outright._) Well, I don't see anything to laugh at! Rose. It is for joy at the prospects of American Art! (_Sings, accompanying herself, if convenient. What follows must be spoken and sung as if all were brimming over with mirth._) [Sung] [Rose] Come fill your glasses right away, La jour de gloire est arrive, ---- {_All laugh loudly._) Miss D. (_With growing indignation._) I believe you are making game of my opera! Myrtle. O, no, ma che[`]e! merely playing at ducks and drakes with it! (_Myrtle may sing alone or the others may join. [Sung] [Myrtle] Fill up with absinthe, green and strong! [Spoken] Ha, Ha Ha! ---- Miss D. This is an indignity to Art! I shall not endure it! (_Turns to go._) Lily & Violet. Here, don't forget your opera! (_Running and handing it._) Miss D. (_At the exit; passionately._) Some other city shall have the honor of bringing it out! (_Exit._) Flora. Yes, take it to Wayback. Jasmine. Of course! and if does not elevate Art perhaps it will raise turnips! Titian. Who is this Miss Polly-want-a-cracker-ini? (_Gents come to the part of the stage which Miss D. has vacated and gradually come into a symmetrical line with the ladies for the last number._) Violet. She is the apostle of American Art who believes in the divine right of Kings, and forgets "how you call it in English". Flora. (_Or some other one of the ladies._) She is a composer whose originality consists in this. (_Plays.) Titian. To my mind that strain suggests the various objects in the most truly American of all scenes, namely, an old New England Homestead. (_The following sentences marked * will be spoken enthusiasically and all together._) *Lily. What an excellent suggestion for a scene! *Flora. That is very much more to the point. *Myrtle. That is my idea exactly. *Rose & Pansy. How that would shock Miss Doremifasolasini. *Violet. So it does. "How dear to my heart are the scenes", and so forth. Jasmine. (_Speaking at first amidst the confusion and later alone._) Just the thing. There is something unquestionably American about that. "The onchard, the meadow,--- Lily. The deep tangled wildwood, Pansy. And all the lov'd spots that my infancy knew. Flora. The wide spreading pond, and the mill that stood by it. Violet. The bridge and the rock where the cataract fell. Myrtle. The cot of my father, the dairy house nigh it, Rose. And e'en the rude bucket that hung in the well". Titian. And so, to follow her own suggestion, it shall be a drinking song that ends Miss Doremifasolasini's American Opera. (_Sings._) ---- =============== No. 13. =============== [Titian] How ardent I siezed it, [Titian and Solon] With hands that were glowing, And quick in the white pebled bottom it fell. [Titian, Solon, and Altos] Then soon with the emblem of truth overflowing, And dripping with coolness, it rose from the well. [ALL] The old oaken bucket, the iron bound bucket, The moss covered bucket, that hung in the well.