"Matrimonial Squabble" (not dated)
A Duet for Soprano and Tenor
Words and Music by John Hill Hewitt, 1801-1890

[Source: manuscript photocopy from the
John Hill Hewitt papers, #31
Special Collections, Robert W. Woodruff Library
Emory University, Atlanta, GA]

1. 
[Tenor]
My love, you are looking so pretty,— 
To me you’re the belle of the city; 
The rose on your cheek— 
Your eyes seem to speak, 
Your talk is so learn-ed and witty. 
[Soprano]
O, really, dearest, you flatter, 
I’m sure there is something the matter; 
A whole year has passed 
Since you “taffied” my last, 
And now it is one heavy spatter. 
Come, tell me the truth,— have you been to the club?
[Tenor]
No, no, darling no;— I have not played a rub. 
[Soprano]
Then, why all this gush?— do tell me, I pray.
[Tenor]
Why, have you forgot? ’tis our fourth wedding day! 

[DUETT, overlapping voices]
[Soprano]
I certainly do remember, 
It was on the ninth of December. 
No sir I’m not wrong, 
I’m sure ’twas the ninth of December!
[Tenor]
You certainly must remember, 
It was on the ninth of November. 
My darling, you’re wrong, 
I’m sure ’twas the ninth of November!

[REFRAIN] [sung after each verse]
[Soprano]
December!
[Tenor]
November!
[Soprano]
December!
[Tenor]
November!

[Overlapping voices]
[Soprano]
December!
[Tenor]
November!

2.
[Tenor]
My wife, you are surely mistaken 
One fact may your mem’ry awaken 
’Twas a  beautiful day, 
As balmy as May;— 
The farmer’s their haystacks were making.
[Soprano]
I’m sure it was not in November; 
For a snow storm I well do remember; 
The flakes flew around 
And covered the ground— 
And Christmas, you know’s in De cember. 
I’m not such a fool as you think I am.
[Tenor]
Fool or no fool, I don’t care a damn. 
[Soprano]
I’ll get a divorce— I’ll go to my ma. 
[Tenor]
Do just as you please;— I’ll  go  to my pa. 

[DUETT, overlapping voices]
[Soprano]
I’m willing, dear hubby to make up, 
It won’t do our household to break up, 
I freely forgive December!— the children we’ll make up.
[Tenor]
I think ’twould be better to make up, 
It won’t do our household to break up. 
My darling forgive November!— the children we’ll make up. 

3. 
[Tenor]
Hush! don‘t you hear? Bobby is crying, 
You’d not move a step were he dying; 
You act like a mule, 
A halfwitted fool; 
My temper you‘re spitefully trying. 
[Soprano]
My poor little heart you are breaking, 
It's beating, it‘s bursting, it‘s aching, 
Oh, sad was the day, 
You took me away! 
My days, days of misery making. 
I’ll die very soon;— you’ll not shed a tear. 
[Tenor]
O, don‘t you say that, it will kill me I fear. 
[Soprano]
Well, what if it did? You would not be missed!
[Tenor]
My timehonor‘d name would  still grace the list. 

[DUETT, overlapping voices]
[Soprano]
Perhaps this dispute might  be ended. 
Allow ’twas December be candid, 
December it was, December, December, December!
[Tenor]
Don’t you  think this dispute can be ended? 
Allow ’twas November be candid, 
November it was, November, November, November!