"That's What's the Matter With Hannah" (1865)
Comic Ballad
Song and Chorus
As sung by
J. L. Murphy
of Cotton, Murphy & Smith’s Minstrels.
Words by
S[ilas]. S[exton]. Steele
Music by
J. H. Ross

Boston: Oliver Ditson & Co., 277 Washington St.
N. York: W. A. Pond & Co.
Phila.: W. A. Smith
Cin.: Peters & Bro.
Cleveland: Brainard & Co.
Baltimore: H. McCaffrey
[Engraver:] G. F. Swain
Plate No. 329-5
[Source: 025/130@Levy]

1. Bywords up and down are the life of the town,
  Like heroes they ev’ry day grow Sir,
A new one springs up as an old one goes down,
  As the gals change their dresses and beaux Sir;
“That’s what’s the matter” has been thump’d about,
  Like the keys on an ancient Piano,
But it’s got a new face and now the cant phrase,
  Is “That’s what’s the matter with Hannah.”

CHORUS [sung after each VERSE]
Then ring out the chorus both sweet and sonorus,
  Let your smiles fall upon us like manna'
To please old and young is the aim of our song,
  And “That’s what’s the matter with Hannah.

2. The price of gold’s falling, we hear people bawling,
  But it’s up in an hour or a quarter,
While we send it away to buy foreign array,
  To show off a wife or a daughter.
Gold cannot come down while our gals sweep the town,
  With silks spreading out like a banner,
The longer their trails, why the higher gold sails
  And “That’s what’s the matter with Hannah.”

3. But the draggle tail dresses will no more distress us,
  As wipers for gentlemen’s feet, sir.
Tuck’ups are the fashion for those who would dash on
  And make a big show on the street, sir.
Each Belle now must flirt in a fifty yard skirt
  Festooned in upholstery manner.
Now black tuck’ups float o’er a white petticoat,
  And “That’s what’s the mater with Hannah”;

4. The war being over, our brave troops discover,
  A new field to strike a few blows, sir,
And lead off a dance for sly Louis of France,
  With his dutch King in poor Mexico, sir,
We want no more glory, nor more territory,
  But we’ll stand by the old “Monroe banner.¨
And we’ll have no King’s nest, in this world of the west
  And “That’s what’s the matter with Hannah.”

5. Petroleum Fever that proved such a lever
  To grease all the wheels of creation,
In simmering down overdone and done brown,
  Like a soapbubble bustification;
Some folks who struck ile made a blaze for awhile
  In fast nags Champagne and Havanna
But wells pump’d too high are bound to run dry
  And “That’s what’s the matter with Hannah.”

6. The Atlantic Cable again proves a fable
  A flash in the pan but no thunder;
Like a gun that burns it’s a fizzle sublime
  A pay’d out and play’d out sad blunder;
The wire springs a leak and refuses to speak
  It bolts in a most shocking manner
At “Five pounds per word” it can never be heard
  And “That’s what’s the matter with Hannah.”