"The Invalid Corps" (1863) 
Sung by Buckley's Minstrels 
Song & Chorus. 
Words and Music by Frank Wilder. 

Boston: Henry Tolman & Co., 291 Wash'n St. 
J.H. Bufford's Lith. Boston 
Plate No. 3595 
[Source: 088/095@Levy]

1. I wanted much to go to war, 
And went to be examined. 
The Suggeon looked me o’er and o’er, 
My back and chest be hammered. 
Said he, “you’re not the man for me, 
Your lungs are much affected. 
And likewise both your “eyes are cock’d 
And otherwise defected.” 

CHORUS [sung after each VERSE]
So, now I’m with the Invalids, 
And cannot go and fight, sir! 
The Doctor told me so, you know, 
Of course, it must be right, sir!

2. While I was there a host of chaps 
For reasons were exempted. 
Old “pursy,” he was laid aside, 
To pass he had attempted. 
The Doctor said, “I do not like 
Your corporosity,” sir! 
You’ll “breed a famine” in the camp 
Whereever you might be, sir! 

3. Some had the ticerdolerreng, 
Some what they call “brown critters,” 
And some were “land and aint got time” 
To take and look you over.” 
Next came along a little chap, 
Who was ’bout two foot nothing: 
The Doctor said, “you’d better go 
And tell your marm you’re coming.” 

4. Some had the ticerdolerreng,
Some what they call “brown critters,”
And some were “lank and” lazy too; 
Some were too “fond of bitters.” 
Some had “cork legs,” and some “one eye,” 
With back deformed and crooked; 
I’ll bet you’d laugh’d till you had cried, 
To see how “cute” they looked.