"The Abe-iad" (circa 1861)
Words by J. P. McRebel
Music by F. Bartenstein

[Source: facsimile copy on pp. 370-372
from "Songs of Yesterday: A Song Anthology
of American Life" by Philip D. Jordan and
Lillian Kessler (Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 
Doran & Co., Inc., 1941)]

1. Abe Lincoln was a citizen of very small renown,
A ralling abolitioner, of little Springfield town;
Abe’s party said: “November comes, now Abe, don’t let us fail
To meet the other parties all, and beat them with a rail!”
November came, the rogues turn’d out, and yet, ’twas not allow’d,
That Abe would come, lest Abram’s face, should fright away the crowd!
The crowd, the crowd, should fright away the crowd!

2. So Abram, at his Springfield home, staid waiting for the news,
The while, his party liek’d their chops, at smell of public stews;
Soon, hordes of ev’ry grade and shape, high, low, and ragged “fellar,”
Came for each place, from Chair of State, to toting Abe’s “Umbreller!”
So Abram, left, and foolish speech, and maudlin hiss and shout
Of  flatt’ring rabble, well compos’d the triumph of his route!
His route, his route, the triumph of his route!

3. At length, a man, full hard he ran,— “A plot, a plot!” did yell,
Then quick beneath each seat they sought infernal bursting shell;
The man, they tried (and faith he lied!) “The special train” he said.
“Will be upset, and if Abe ’scrapes, arm’d men will shoot him dead!”
Abe’s friends a counterplot did hatch, ’twas “Run, Abe Lincoln, straight—
For running was a statagem, of Bonaparte, the Great!
The great, the great, of Bonaparte, the Great!”

4. Away went Abram, meek or naught, all in the midnight dark!
Away went Abram, fast he flew! no Judge that time could mark!
And, dreading still, Grimalkin’s corpse, or brickbat’s envious blow,
At dead of night, he slyly pass’d thro’ dreadful Baltimo’!
So Abe stole into Washington, (alas! the weeful day,)
And fondly thought, poor foolish Abe! “Well, four years here I’ll stay!
I’ll stay, I’ll stay, well, four years here I’ll stay!”

5. Abe, human hopes are sandy ropes, to my advice give heed!
And dearly prize those lengthy limbs, which give you wond’rous speed!
Repent and change! or as you came, soon darkly back you’ll run;
Aye! day and night, with all your might, you’ll run from sun to sun!
Then let me say, make haste the day! and Abram, make haste he!
And when old Abe, shall run that race, may I be there to see!
To see, to see, may I be there to see!