"You'll Get There All the Same" (1886)
Melody of "La Paloma" [1863]
by Sebastián Iradier (later Yradier) 
Words by George M. Vickers. 
Arranged by Julian Cramer.

Boston: W. F. Shaw
[Source: 139/066@Levy]

1. Oh, hark to my song, for I’ve got some points for  you, 
And well would it be if only the half you know;
In wooing a wife oft sweet words will swiftly flow, 
But this I will say, you’d better at first go slow: 
Better keep single than to wed in a hurry.
Better keep cool than get yourself in a flutter, 
Time will work wonders, only push onward ever, 
Then you’ll not get left, then you’ll not get left, nev er!

CHORUS [repeated after each VERSE]
You’ll get there all the same, 
You’ll get there all the same, 
You’ll get there the same, yes you’ll get there the same, 
You’ll get there all the same, 

2. Most folks think it wrong if you sell them chalk for cheese, 
But old Uncle Sam small thinks like that never sees;
His dollar is short just by ten or twenty cents, 
But he that gets burnt is the one that first repents: 
Better use greenbacks than to use short weight money.
Better be just than to be so very funny.
Time will work wonders only don’t you forget it, 
Better stop silver then you’ll never regret it.

3. Bob Ingersol says that there’s no such place as, well.
Perhaps it is best on such points not long to dwell 
But this I may say, he will find out some warm day, 
That some how or other he is going down that way: 
Robert, oh, Robert, you will soon, soon awaken;
Finding, oh, Robert, you are much mistaken;
Brimstone you think it will not harm you ever, 
But tho’ you say that you will go there never.

4. They say in some states they well sell you not a dram,
But I have found out that it’s really a sham;
Though taverns are closed you will find at each drug store,
A place for dry people behind the little door;
Better keep sober than to swallow bad whiskey.
Friends I’ve been there and I know that it’s risky.
Well too I know if you would wet up your whistle,
Quickly you’d prove that all the law was a fizzle.

5. 'Tis said Belva Lockwood will fight for woman’s rights,
But only an old maid in such a cause delights,
The pretty girls marry, make useful, loving wives,
And thus become angels the balance of their lives;
Better get married, so young folks go get married,
Don’t wait for riches, now young man if you’ve tarried;
Dishes are plenty, and so too you’ll find ladles,
And if you want to own a pair of fine cradles.

6. I bought me a lamp as my gas bills were so high,
And thought I’d save each, at least I was bound to try;
I cut off the metre and I thought the trick I’d found,
But some how the hands kept moving round and round,
Coal oil is cheaper for the folks who will burn it;
But to save gas the how, you will never learn it,
Gas bills keep growing, they will thrive like mosquitos,
Two things you can’t stop, tongues of old maids and meters.