"My Visit to the Opera" (1879)
by Joseph P. Skelly
from "Popular Songs
Written for & sung by Tony Pastor" (1 of 6)

New York: E. H. Harding, 229 Bowery
[Source: @LoC]

1.
I am paying my addresses
To a lady rich and fair,
She is very fond of music,
She can sing most any air,--
To the Grand Italian Op'ra
She was much inclined to go,
So I made the preparations
And we went to see the "show;"
I'm no great judge of music,
I admire a good Brass band,
But these high-toned foreign Op'ras
I can never understand.

CHORUS [sung after each verse]
There's an elegant Soprano,
And a heavy Baritone,
There's a double barell'd Basso,
With a deep and mighty groan,
There's a Chorus loudly shouting,
There's a Tenor soft and bland;
With fiddles, flutes and kettledrums,
All gathered in the band.

2.
There I sat like one enchanted,
And I could not move or speak,--
My companion was delighted,
But to me it was all Greek,
There was sighing, there was crying,
There was singing, there was woe,
And it made me almost crazy
When I heard the trumpets blow.
The Tenor sang a solo,
Till his have got very red,
And when the Base began to howl
I though he'd bust his head.

3.
I remained a quiet list'ner
And my eyes began to close,
At the height of the performance
I was sung in deep repose.
While unconsciously I slumbered,
Loudly I began to snore,
Then a gentelmanly usher
Dragged me fainting to the door.
I soon came to my senses,
And since then, I've taken care,
To keep clear of Operatics,
For they drive me to despare.