"Too Thin; or, Darwin's Little Joke" (1874)
A Humorous Song.
Words by Grace Carleton
Music by O'Rangoutang

New York, NY: Wm. A. Pond & Co., 547 Broadway
[Source: 054/145@Levy]

1.
Upon my life the strangest things
  Now come to pass each day;
One Darwin to a fellow brings
  Our ancesters so gray!
It's very funny, odd and queer,
  He says this manly shape,
This form to all the girls so dear
  Descended from an Ape!

[REFRAIN]
It certainly is most absurb,
  The fact can never be!
My great grand daddy never was
  A Monkey up a tree!

CHORUS
It certainly is most absurb,
  The fact can never be!
My great grand daddy never was
  A Monkey up a tree!

2.
He tells us years and years ago
  That we were only Fleas!
That ev'ry fellow had to grow
  From wretched bugs like these,
Then we were Ostriches and Rats
  When this old world was new,
And Elephants and Thomasents,
  Likewise a Kangaroo!

(REFRAIN)
(CHORUS)

3.
Now if it should be true that we
  Were "Creton Bugs" and "Flies,"
One may be a "Managerie"
  Before a fellow dies! --
A "Lapdog" for the girls to pet,
  A "Porpoise" or a "Frog;"
Who knows that I may not be yet
  A festive "Polliwog!"

(REFRAIN)
(CHORUS)

4.
What Darwin says may all be true,
  Though very rough on us;
Who wants to be related to
  A "Hippopotamus?"
I choose to be a daisy bright,
  And I'll be that alone;
All other relatives, in spite
  Of Darwin I disown!

(REFRAIN)
(CHORUS)