Dedicated to the
Jolly Quartette
McKee, Rogers, Mackin & Wilson,
Fox & Ward's Sensation
Song & Dance
"Avoirdupois" (1873)
[Sung by] Dupres & Benedicts
Minstrels
Written by
Frank Dumont

Boston: G. D. Russell & Company, 126 Tremont St.
San Francisco: M. Gray
Portland, Me.: Ira C. Stockbridge
Plate No. 2709
[Source: 025/006@Levy]

1. I wish that I was not so fat
That’s all that troubles me,
And how I wish that I was thin,
Oh! then I’d happy be.
And that’s the case with me just now
Could I get rid of that,
The girl I love says she’d have me
If I was not so fat.

[REFRAIN sung after each VERSE]
Oh! dear what shall I do.
I weigh three hundred and thirty two.
The doctor says that we must dance
And rub our tongues with gin—
He says that dancing is the cure
And that will make us thin.

2. There is a girl at school I love,
Her name is Red haired Sue.
Oh that’s the very girl I know.
You bet I love her too.
She told me that you were too stout
Her heart and hand to win;
She told me that you were too fat.
She’d have me when I got thin.

3. I’ll try to lose a hundred pounds
Of fat at ev’ry chance
And I will lay awake all night.
To roll about and dance,
And then gymnastics were too stout
Her heart and hand to win;
And I will neither eat or drink,
I’ll beat you getting thin.