"The Absurdity of It" (1872)
Comic Song
with Chorus ad lib.
Words by
C. H. Webb
Music by
L. Scofield
Published for the Author.

St. Louis, MO: Balmer & Weber Publishers
Plate No. 2899 # 3
[Source: 02261@LoC]

1.
It is all very well for the poets to tell
By way of their songs adorning,
Of milkmaids who rouse to manipuate cows
At five o’clock in the morning,
And of mooney young mowers who bundle out doors,
The charm of their strawbeds scorning,
Before break of day to make love and hay
At five oclock in the morning.

CHORUS [sung after each VERSE]
At five oclock, at five
At five oclock in the morning.

2.
But between me and you, it is all untrue
Believe not a word they utter,
To no milkmaid alive does the figure of five
Bring beaux or even bring butter,
The poor sleepy cows, if told to arouse,
Would do so perhaps, in a horning,
But the sweet country girls would they show their bright curls
At five oclock in the morning?

3.
It may not be wrong for a man in the song,
Or the moon if anxious to settle,
To kneelin’ wet grass and pop, but alas
What, if he popp’d down on a nettle!
For how could he see what was under his knee,
If inspite of my friendly warning
He went out of bed, his house, and his head,
At five oclock in the morning.

4.
It is all very well such stories to tell
But if I were a maid all forlorning,
And a lover should drop in the clover to pop
At five o’clock in the morning,
If I liked him, you see I’d say “Please call at three”
If not, I’d turn on him with scorning,
“Don’t come here, you flat, with conundrun like that,
At five oclock in the morning.”