To Charles Matthews, Esq. "Niagara Falls" (1857) Written [and Composed?] By Mr. Winchell. And Sung by him at the Principal Theatres. Boston: Oliver Ditson & Co., 277 Washington St. Plate Number: 18029 [Source: 051/059@Levy] 1. From Buffalo my labour done For curiosity and fun, I took the cars the morning run; To go to Niagara falls sirs. The morn was cold the snow fell fast, Old Boreas blew a piping blast, With two horse pow’r sat off at last, We’d passengers of ev’ry cast; There was Mis ter and Mistress Frost and son, A charming lady of fifty one, Whose volubility of tongue, Reminded me of a chinese gong. CHORUS [sung after each verse] Rumbling tumbling tearing away, Wallowing bellowing wet with spray, Like aunt Deborah’s washing day; This trip to Niagara falls. 2. The driver did his horses crack, But the snow kept drifting o’er the track, Which made our travelling rather slack Going to Niagara falls sirs, At length arrived in time to dine The Cataract hotel is fine; We’d flesh and fish of ev’ry kind, And negro waiters to stand behind; The landlord he procurred a guide, Who took us down to the water side Where we rock’d and pitch’d in the foaming tide As though the surge our boat did glide. 3. Midst foaming billows at length we land, On cakes of rocky ice and sand. We all got safe upon the stand, Going to Niagara falls sirs. We gazed upon the English falls, Tumbling over nature’s walls; The noise of which your heart appalls, Just like the thousand thunder squalls. A red coat sentry bid us stand A broth of a boy from Paddy’s land; With bayonet fixed and pen in hand, To sign our names did us command. 4. Stuck fast in mud with sad turmoil, Some lost a shoe, amidst the toil, At length we reach’d the topmast soil, That leads to Niagara fall sirs— The rival cataracts in view Roaring and rushing ever new: Goat Island stands between the two; The English falls they call Horse Shoe, Near Table Rock we all descend, Down winding steps that never end: The Ladies our aid we had to lend Each begging the other her pace to mend. [NOTE: These are to be spoken after each Verse, and before each Chorus. Misspellings are left as is.] 1. The following conversations took place in the Cars, between an old Lady, and a Gentlemen. Old Gent: “My dear I told you not to bring that child along this frosty morning; you might just as well left it tew hum with the sarvent gall as not, and it would have been well taken care of; let me hold it thats a dear.” Old Lady: “No Mr Frost, I’ll carry it myself so I will, the ony donylee - the huny buny. I did not want to set off for the Falls so early in the spring, but you are an untimely frost, Mr Frost, as your conduct sufficiently evinces; last fall you were for going to the Springs and this spring, you are going to the Falls; last winter you went to Summer-town, we put up at Mr Snow’s Hotel where we had all like to have frozen to death. (Child cries.) There, there, yes Mamas dear pet shall go and see the.—” 2. Old Lady: Dont sit over there sir, if you do we shall overset.” Old Gent: “Billy, my boy, set up out of the bottom of the boat.” Boy: “Oh, no, Pa, I’m afraid I shall upset; Oh! Mama! see what a sight of ice there is all around the boat.” ”Sartain” observed a Yankee. “This is an ice boat wherry.” Old Gent: “Don’t be making fun, its punishment enough crossing this pond ’tis pon my word, Ah! there’s the English hallo! I wonder what’s the reason they are not as high as the American Falls.” Yankee: “Well as nigh as I can calc’late ’tis because they haint got so far to fall.” Old Lady: “How is it possible you can jest in the midst of this”— 3. Sentry: “Ladies and Gentlemen, won and all ye’s cant pass here any way ye’s can fix it till ye’s all put down your names; ’tis for that reason I’m placed here on guard by her Majestys government and am bound to enforce the commands of my superior officer. Ye’s have all written down but divil the word can I wread but spose it’s all right or ye’s wouldn’t write it, A little silver in my hand by way of keeping the divil out of my stomach, I know the Yankees would rather it were lead than silver, but long life to ye’s die tomorrow you can all walk up and see the ” 4. Old Lady: “Oh! dear I cant go under there, wont that rock fall on us! Does nobody never get kill’d under here nor nothing!” Yankee: “Nobody I guess that ever liv’d to tell on it.” Guide: “Don’t befrighten’d ladies you are now in sight of the sublimest of spectacles,” Old Gent: “I left my spectacles to hum.” Frenchman: “Here’s von grand plaze pour de contem- plation.” Yankee: “Grand for washing sheep.” Dutchman: “Dish falls is pig” Dandy: “Oh! de’ah I am really distracted with this ”