from "Comic Songs", No. 57 of 64
"The Dumb Wife" (1836)
As Sung
With unbounded applause
by Lady Amateur
of Philadelphia.
[Words and Music: anonymous]

Philadelphia: Lee & Walker, 722 Chestnut Street
Plate No. 61
[Source: 047/020@Levy]

1. There was a country blade,
And he wooed a little maid,
Safely he conducted her home, home, home,
She was neat in ev'ry part,
And she stole away his heart,
But this pretty little deary, she was dumb, dumb, dumb.

2. She could brew and she could bake.
She could knit and she could plait.
She could sweep the house clean with her broom, broom, broom.
She could card and she could spin,
And do ev'ry other thing,
But this pretty little dreary, she was dumb, dumb, dumb.

3. To the Doctor then he went
To make her heart content
In curing his deary of the mum, mum, mum.
"'Tis by far the easiest part
That lies within my art
To make a woman speak who is dumb, dumb, dumb."

4. Next morn when she arose,
She quick put on her clothes,
And rattled in his ear like a drum, drum, drum.
Her feet began to walk,
And her tongue began to walk,
I'd give any thing on earth she were dumb, dumb, dumb.

5. To the Doctor then he goes,
With his bosom full of woes,
"Oh, Doctor, Doctor dear! I am undone, done, done.
My wife has proved a scold,
And the Doil her tongue will hold,
I'd bive any thing on earth she were dumb, dumb, dumb."

6. Says the Doctor, "Then indeen,
I've proved a friend in need,
In curing your deary of the mum, mum, mum.
But 'tis past the art of man.
Let him do the best he can,
To make a scolding woman hold her tongue, tongue, tongue."

7. But to put an end to strife,
Go home unto your wife,
Give her the oil of bazel like a drum, drum, drum.
Oil her body all around
Till the hazel makes it sound,
And you'll never more be troubled with her tongue, tongue, tongue.